Reader Mail · July 4, 2026

Letters to the Editor, and Our Responses

Readers write in. We write back. Neither party emerges improved. Below: this week’s grievances, filed by the aggrieved, answered by the unrepentant.

This Week’s Correspondence

A sore Redcoat · Devon, England

“You lot cheated in ’76. The whole affair was unsporting, the muskets were pointed the wrong way, and I demand the result be reviewed.”

The editors respond: And won. Good day.

A Concerned Patriot · location redacted for freedom

“Your fireworks coverage traumatized my dog. He now salutes the microwave.”

The editors respond: The microwave has earned it. See our full pet-horror report.

Name withheld · by request, and by shame

“I read the fact-check and now I don’t know what year it is or whether the cherry tree consented.”

The editors respond: Neither do we. Neither did the tree. Read on.

Write to Us

Satyr Satire welcomes correspondence from readers, non-readers, and entities that have merely heard of us. We publish the whining. We keep the responses short. We reserve the right to be right.

Reader Mail is a recurring feature. A proper submission form is coming; for now, admire the ones who got here first.