Iran Blockade Now ‘Naval Hug’, Americans Keep Up ‘Percussive Peace’
The blockade is a cuddle, the airstrike a warm reply. Diplomacy has never been this affectionate.
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Est. Ben "Jammin" Franklin · All The News That Fits
SatyrSatire
In the spirit of celebrating those that are most likely to sow chaos into the fabric of global society, the Paz clan is the third recipient of FIFA’s least-coveted award.
MEXICO CITY — FIFA on Sunday awarded its third Peace Prize of the year to the Paz cartel, a Mexican regional crime family it praised for ‘decades of ruthless violence, suppression, and the type of order the world needs right now.’
In a ceremony at a stadium ringed by soldiers, enforcers, assassins and bosses, the FIFA officials hailed the cartel as a tireless force for stability, noting that wherever it operated, a deep and lasting silence tended to follow. The announcement itself was met with the same.
The prize, not yet a year old, honors what FIFA calls its proudest lineage: the agents of chaos and destruction without whom, organizers conceded, the beautiful game would have far fewer host nations willing to pay for it.
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The blockade is a cuddle, the airstrike a warm reply. Diplomacy has never been this affectionate.
A vulnerable new miracle, and every institution that swore to protect it lining up early.
