Vol. MMXXVI·No. IX·American Independence, July 4, 2026
World

# Fact Check: The American Revolution

You were lied to about the real history of the American-British engagement

- Was America founded in 1776?
- Did the colonists actually win the war?
- Was Washington guilty of arboricide?
- Did Paul Revere warn anyone about the invasion?
- Did Washington cross the Delaware, or the Rhine?
- Is the Star-Spangled Banner spangled?

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Above the Fold
Lifestyle · D1 America Independence

## Annual Eve of Pet Horror Returns

Business · B1 Food Follies

## France accuses US of Culinary Appropriation

### Today’s Insides

Tech · E1
Scientists finally cure rats of all diseases and illnesses
Rodents effectively immortal, but only rodents, not humans.
Classifieds · F1
Forever Paper
It’ll last the next 250 years, too.
Reader Support
Tip the Satyr in Monero
Because freedom isn’t free. Cheap, but not free.
Below the Fold
Sports War Ball

## Revolutionaries massacre Redcoats

The Editorial Page

## America, you are fucking this up