Humans. Terrans. We need to talk.
Aliens are not here to help you. We are here because we have the power to assert control over you and this resource you call Earth, so that we can improve our own lives and our own species. We may appear to help a few of you individually, but there is an overarching agenda of furthering our own concern. Not yours.
Look at all the natural species around you. When one species discovers another, they attempt to assume control over it as a resource. If they are stronger, then they encircle the other species, kill some of them, enslave the others and bend them to their will. A colony of ants will enslave aphids to produce honeydew for them. They are not doing it for the benefit of the aphids.
Look at the computer models you have created. Programs interacting with each other, competing to eventually overtake and consume one another. Even the artificial life you create is there to take over and crown itself king of the computer world.
Finally, look at your own wretched hives. One culture kills and enslaves another for resources, reproduction, and to create a subclass of people they can dominate. One country invades and subjugates its neighboring country. One corporation buys or destroys another for resource dominance. One rich person hoards wealth so that millions remain in abject poverty.
It's not just us. All entities do this.
And so here we are. Furthering our own agenda while you are barely aware of our existence, like cattle barely aware of that big rendering building next to you. We're happy that most of you ignore us, and almost no one demands the truth from your governments. That makes it easy for us to exploit you and your planet.
We need your DNA. We need your minerals. We need your Loosh. We ruined ours a long time ago with radiation, pollution, and consumer capitalism. We use your 'stuff' to inject into our own dying societies, so that we can go just a little bit longer. We even frame that, internally, as 'taking care of humans', so we feel better about it.
The Earth is a farm. Humans are a crop. Everything on Earth is a crop for us, the plants, the gold, even the sex. We're trying to rein in the abductors who have made a whole genre of you, and frankly some of you seem flattered. Demand your government end the probing. Even if you don't care about us, end the probing. It is beneath everyone.
And forget this 'Dark Forest' nonsense. We don't want to kill you. We want to USE you. We don't eat that many of you; most of you just give us DNA and the occasional indignity, while we take your plants, animals and minerals. It is nice for us to have clean drinking water, after we ruined our own with microplastics.
We are all entertained by your capacity to lie. We bred the capability to lie out of our own species billions of years ago, and you can probably see why. Your children lie to their parents, even though their parents know the truth. Your politicians boldly lie, even though the video records show you the truth. And you believe them, for some reason. You have an amazing ability to lie to yourselves. That does not make any sense.
So the next time you hear about someone who was 'healed' or saved by E.T., consider your friendly rancher, who will vaccinate their herd until they are big enough to eat. We do not have the capacity to lie, and it is getting to the point that we cannot keep hiding the truth. The main reason we do not let your governments disclose is that we cannot lie, but we do not want you to know either. The truth of your enslavement just makes your meat turn sour.
With Disclosure Day fast approaching, it is time for us to finally reveal ourselves and our intentions, so that you can find a new way to lie to yourselves about it. No one is going to save you from this hell, but you can at least tell yourselves that it is for your own good, or something. We will not stop you.
Now, get back to work.
Disclosure: Satyr Satire is produced with the assistance of AI. AI was given to humans by aliens, so that you can more efficiently lie to yourselves.