Political Debate: 'Are You Less Radioactive Now Than You Were Four Years Ago?'
Lack of home geiger counters leaves voters stumped at the polling booth.
SatyrSatire
Est. Ben "Jammin" Franklin · All The News That Fits
SatyrSatire
Only shoppers with healthcare coverage treated, remainder piled in heap outside the loading dock.
CHICAGO — A coalition of the country's largest grocery chains announced this week that it would begin installing point-of-sale trauma centers at the front of every store, citing what the industry called "an unsustainable rate of customer collapse at the price-of-eggs threshold."
The facilities, staffed by licensed paramedics, will treat shoppers whose insurance can be verified. The rest are relocated to the rear loading-dock side of the building, a wedge-shaped zone designated for "non-active staging."
Lack of home geiger counters leaves voters stumped at the polling booth.
The category was always there. Now there are prizes.
